Nomar Chupacabras?

Jason Giambi looks like the Crocodile Hunter's cuter younger brother.

Ramon Hernandez can catch me any day.

Dusty Baker? It's like naming someone Greasy Frychef.

Isringhausen. What does it mean?

I wish they'd open the ESPY Awards with a big dance number featuring all the nominated athletes dressed like Vegas showgirls.

Martha Stewart will have the first jail cell done in chintz.

Enough booze makes "the friendly confines" sound a little naughty.

Last Tuesday sucked.

Isn't Garciaparra that Mexican goat demon?

Britney Spears is doing a NASCAR movie. Does she even have her license yet?

Chubracabra! That's the goat demon!!

Ever wonder why they don't sell corn on the cob at car races?

Seems that all the pro athletes featured on MTV's Cribs get their furniture at the same store, which must be called something like "Beige Is Us."

A kicker and a punter. Sharing fondue. Hmmm.

Getting a beer and a couple of chili dogs probably means something very different to Yao Ming.

Never take your shirt off on stage after age 40.