Spooneybarger's Burgers

Braves reliever Tim Spooneybarger has the perfect name to open a fast food chain that serves burgers to the elderly.

Now that Jason Priestley crashed a Porsche, a power boat, and a race car, I'd say it's time to get that bus pass.

Is Elvis' birthday a sad day for Jerry Glanville?

A Golf Magazine poll indicates that 43 percent of golfers throw their clubs in anger. The other 57 percent admit to having pet names for their putters.

If Serena Williams keeps wearing that leather-like black cat suit, I'm going to call her "Purrrrina Williams."

If chess is a sport, then I'm a frigging supermodel.

Will we ever see Summer's Eve Stadium?

I sure do miss Doug Flutie in a Bills uniform.

Do you ever watch a preseason NFL game and try to pick out the guys in the fourth quarter lineup who will soon be mowing your lawn?

How come golfers never have tattoos?

The New Orleans Saints have the best uniforms in the league.

Dale Earnhardt made more money dead than I ever made alive.

If Major League Baseball revoked their substance abuse policies and just let the athletes play high, pop ups would be a whole new adventure.

NFL cheerleaders all seem to be publishing lingerie calendars. Can the LPGA be far behind?

How come folks are up in arms because Jill Arrington posed for FHM Magazine, but no one says a word about Tiger Woods pretending to drive a Buick?

My husband is hosting his fantasy football draft next Sunday. What's more pathetic than 10 "owners" who combined have had fewer dates than A.C. Green?

And finally...who's filling bigger shoes this season -- Ron Zook or Caroline Rhea?